Kiki & Bug

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” –Brene Brown

When I first heard the phrase “self-care”, I remember immediately thinking to myself, ‘Who has time for that? I certainly don’t.” Since the age of fifteen I’ve struggled with anxiety, which oftentimes makes it difficult to grasp the concept of taking care of oneself because you’re too worried about those around you. For me, there’s always been a comfort in focusing on others so I don’t have to face the effects of my own anxiety.

About two years ago, I was at my weekly appointment with my psychologist when she asked me what I’m sure she considered to be a very pertinent question (I viewed it as irrelevant at the time): “What are some ways that you show yourself love or provide yourself with self-care?” I remember looking down at the floor, not being able to face her and just sighed and chuckled a little to myself. After a few seconds, I looked up and said, “What’s that?” Not because I didn’t know what self-care was, but because I’d never taken the time to do anything for myself. It was that foreign of a concept to me. She might as well have asked me when’s the last time you went skydiving because it was that rare of an occasion.

Perhaps I didn’t think I was worthy of self-care, or maybe I simply chalked it up to being too busy, but either way it took me a while to understand the importance self-care serves in my daily life and that without it I am half of the person I can be if I just give myself that necessary time. I know for some, like me, self-care is not an easy thing to do. Now, when I say it’s not easy, I don’t mean it’s actually difficult to do, but it is difficult to get your mind into a place where it accepts self-love and self-care. For me, that was the hardest part… feeling like I deserved that time for myself and that I could be a better version of myself if I’d just accept it and let it happen. Here are some simple starting points for you to begin taking time for yourself and providing yourself with much needed self-care. It doesn’t have to be anything big, it can be small, as long as you know its’ meaning. It may be taxing at first and you feel like you don’t know where to begin but I PROMISE you, it will be worth it!

Let the Healing Begin

STEP ONE: Get Your Mind Right. One way that I do this is by writing daily affirmations or quotes on a sticky note or my phone and looking at it every day. I am someone who responds very well to the written word and it helps me to have positive reminders around me everyday. It allows me to recognize the importance of taking care of myself and reminds me to keep pushing even when things get difficult.

STEP TWO: Make A List Of Things That You Like/Calm You. Before implementing self-care into your daily routine, you may find it helpful to have a list to pick from. I’m someone who enjoys structure and I’m not the mos spontaneous so having a list of self-care options can be helpful to me rather than having to come up with something on the spot. My list looks something like this:

SELF-CARE LIST:

• Drink my favorite lemon-ginger tea
• Read a book for 30 minutes
• Drink a glass of wine and listen to your record player for at least 30 minutes.
• Write down 10 things I’m grateful for
• Watch a motivational TedTalk
• Journal (Blogging is healing for me)
• De-clutter around the house
• Do yoga
• Put on your favorite face mask and show your skin some love
• Take a long walk to the park with Bug
• Paint my nails
• Curl my hair and put on makeup (not because I have anywhere to go, but just for me to feel good)
• Do laundry
• Light some of your favorite candles
• Treat yourself to a coffee or tea at your favorite cafe
• Take a bubble bath
• Buy yourself some flowers to put in the house
• Write down 5 things you love
• Plan a trip
• Cook (Meal Prepping makes me feel productive and accomplished)
• Watch a show that makes you laugh– My go to is “Friends”
• Get a massage
• Write down daily affirmations on sticky notes and put it around your mirror
• Meditate
• Spend time with someone you love
• Disconnect from technology for at least an hour
• Have a girls night
• Drink a green juice or make your own
• Exercise

STEP THREE: Just Start Doing It! You can start small. It might be hard at first trying to implement these things into your daily life but maybe try to do two of your self-care ideas a week and then slowly add more and more of them until you are doing these things on a daily basis. There will be days when you “forget” or don’t feel like you have the time but making a conscious effort to do these things will greatly improve your life. Give yourself and accountability partner or set a reminder on your phone everyday to do something nice for yourself. If that’s what you need to implement self-care in your life, do it! Just decide you’re worth every second of love you show yourself. Because YOU ARE.

I truly hope you find this to be helpful and this will give you the jump start you need to allow yourself the time and attention you deserve. It won’t happen over night, but never give up on yourself. You are beautiful, important, and worthy. And on that note, I’m going to go enjoy my yummy tea and listen to Taylor Swift’s new Folklore album because that’s just what I need this cloudy Sunday morning.

Till next time, y’all!

xoxo- Kristen Jean